Thursday, June 5, 2014

Soul Searching Throw Back Thursday

The Grits Blog

I need to be totally honest. I have been binge eating all week. I don't know what the problem is, but I am so disgusted with myself. I KNOW better, but for the life of me, I just can't turn it off this week. Every time I eat something I am thinking the entire time "STOP!" Every time someone has left a comment about clean eating, the guilt is just overwhelming. I have not made good choices. I have not taken my own advice. I have not been an example to anyone on the inside. I am definitely making clean meals, but between meals has been a joke. I have been praying and praying for God to smack me in the head and this morning he did just that. Hello Throwback Thursday..

Karaoke with my girls{I am the giant one on the far left} 

My dear friends wedding in 2011

My niece's Baptism 2011

Annual Float Trip 2011

I CAN NOT go back to this. I was in an awful place and I cannot slip back into easy habits and emotions. I have worked too hard for too long. 
I started a new supplement this week to help with my anxiety. I also recognize that my fire is not out. It had dimmed, but God sure threw some gasoline on my embers today. 

I was on a conference call last night with my ItWorks team and I was listening to our Ambassador's story. She has literally been through Hell and she has not given up once. I knew in that moment that my journey is far from over. Nothing has come easy to me, I have had to work for it, and I CAN NOT give up. There will be so many more tough times. I will want to quit. Somehow I have to keep my fire lit. I know that God has placed so many people in my life to be a part of my fire. 
Whitney, Autumn, Katie and Erin, you ladies are my besties. You loved me at my worst and encouraged me to be my best and I love you all so much.
LindsayKellyAshley, and Emily, I can't even explain how much your friendships have come to mean to me. 
I also don't know where I would be without Sherri. She was my first friend when I moved home. She "recruited" me and included me into her group of friends, who are now my friends as well. Without her, I would not have met Katrina and I would not be starting my ItWorks journey either. 
I have loved the products for a while now, but I saw something in Katrina and I knew I had to be a part of her team. I want to match her fire. I want a team to match mine. I want my health and wellness to be my foundation. I want a life dedicated to helping others find their own happiness in their health. This is where I am supposed to be. 
God sure smacks hard. 

All My Love, 


  1. You've got this!!! No one is perfect 100% of the time - everyone has off days. That's why there is always tomorrow aka a fresh start. Keep on being positive, keep on working hard, and keep on keepin' on.

    I am always here if you need anything!

  2. This week was bad for me. I know you read about my epic fail on Tuesday with the binge eating that made me sick, and resulted in me not going to work Yesterday.

    But, I have recovered, I have refocused... My fire is burning bright today.

    I made something: I called it TWIT Thursdays. It's a Link Up for people on the positive journey on getting/staying healthy.

    My hope is to uplift and to get a support system together.

    Jump on! Or Come check it out at least!

    And I also just posted my Tabata work out from today.

    But, trust me, I am right with you. I know it's wrong, I tell myself it won't help.. I tell myself to stop.. and it just wouldn't happen.
    We are not going back to our before pictures... EVER.

    I got your back girlfriend!

    1. I am having the hardest time refocusing this week. I cannot make myself switch back into gears. I love your link up! Such a great idea!!
      You are absolutely right, I remember the pain I felt just a year and a half ago and I do not EVER want to go back to that.
      Thank you sweets!!

  3. You are a rockin lady!! I'm so blessed to call you a friend. Never give up hope, and always know that we're all here rooting for you, and will pick you up if you fall. God never gives you more than you can handle :)

    1. There are no words, I just want to hug you. <3 <3

  4. <3 <3 <3 You got this girl!! And yaas for bloggy sould sisters!

  5. Oh, lady. Sending you lots of love!!! Honestly, a month or so ago I found myself eating a donut every day for a week and I was just like WHO IS THIS PERSON. I was venting to my dad about how disgusted I was with myself and, thinking he would say something like "aw, honey it's okay!" instead he just said, "Welp, GET RIGHT BACK ON THE HORSE!" :) Sometimes I think I forget just how much control over these things I really have. YOU are inspiring. YOU are beautiful. And you, too, will get right back on the horse!! XOXO

    1. I just cannot find the umph to get back on the horse! I don't even know where my head has been this week.
      <3 <3 You are so right though, I just have to DO it.
      Thank you beautiful lady!

  6. You are beautiful! You CAN do it! You won't give up! \\(^_____^)//


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