Thursday, March 13, 2014

my fall off the wagon.

The Grits Blog
It is Little Friday link-up time with Ashley at The Grits Blog and Jessa at Life of a Sports Wife and I have a giant confession.
I have fallen, headfirst, off the wagon.
I'm talking mint oreos{have you ever had those??}, cheeseburgers, fries, chocolate chip cookies, giant portions, and excuses every day this week.
This cannot continue. I haven't gained yet, but I am on track to do some major gaining if this doesn't end here and now. I am stress eating. I know I am stress eating. It doesn't make it any easier to stop the binge. I will not go back to my old life.

This is not me anymore.

I remember how miserable I was then. I hated myself. Every time I binge now, I feel guilt and shame and disgust. I know better. I am better than this. I am better than this binge. I have got to pull myself out. This is me standing up for myself, against myself. I need to be accountable to someone since I am having so much trouble being accountable to myself. I am now accountable to everyone who reads this blog post. 
This is where I am and it is where I want to stay. 

I have lost 85 pounds. I will not go back. I cannot go back. I will take one step at a time until I am back on track. I will not give up. I will count every single calorie, even when I know I am over for the day. I will hoist myself back onto the wagon and then I will lead the wagon in a damn parade. 

Do you have any tips or tricks for binge eating?
How about tips for staying on track?

All My Love, 
Meg


12 comments:

  1. MEG~ YOU CAN DO IT!

    You totally can. You are a strong woman and you can totally overcome this. Writing this post shows your determination. It's apparent you have the desire, drive, and love of yourself to accomplish this. Telling yourself YOU.CAN.DO.IT. means that you're winning the mental battle, which can be just as hard as the actual battle.

    Have you tried the "Naked" brand juices? The mango and "green machine" ones are my fave and they are packed full of good nutrients and are sweet so they help me get past the need for sugars, and help me stay fuller longer. Maybe try pairing one of these with a meal or a snack.

    Do you like asian foods? If you do, I suggest picking up a package of miso and stir frying high fiber veggies in it~ one tablespoon miso, a sprinkle of garlic and red pepper flakes with green beans or broccoli and you've got a crazy tasty, healthy, and filling side to help you get past the snacking cravings.

    You can also mix up miso, evoo, garlic, pepper, and whatever else you want for an awesome salad dressing. I personally have a hard time eating my greens in any way, shape, or form, but miso really does help me eat a TON of it. *^_^*

    I can't remember the name or the brand of the tea, but my local Safeway has a tea in the "organic" section that's specifically for that "snacking" feeling. I really liked it and it helped me not snack all day, maybe you'll like it too.

    Sorry for the novel. I hope you have a killer Friday!

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    1. Thank you!!! These are all awesome suggestions! I get so stuck in a "food rut" and get so tired of eating the same things over and over. I love Naked juices! I also love Asian food, so I am totally picking up some miso this weekend and trying using it in a stir fry. Yumm!!
      I will definitely be on the lookout for the tea you mentioned.
      Thanks again! These were great!

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  2. Wow, your transformation is amazing. You have made such great progress, I would use that as your biggest form of motivation. Have a great day!

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  3. WOW!!! You look great!! Don't buy any of that stuff at the grocery store and you won't be tempted at home to eat it! I also like to set limits and tell myself, its OK to have like a couple of [said snacky item] but NOT half the bag!!! Keep it up!! :)

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    1. Thank you!! The problem is that I drag poor Matt into things and have him buy it for me! I just can't keep trigger foods in the house anymore. I also need to go to the grocery store when I am bored with the foods we have in the house and not send Matt through a drive thru instead. You would think after a year and a half I would have things semi figured out, but nope, I still have trouble. Thanks for reading!

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  4. OH wow you look amazing! Something that has really helped me is turning a few hours on Sunday into food prep time. I put Netflix on my laptop and prep every meal as much as possible for the week so there is no excuse to run and pick up fast food. I also try to find healthy substitutes for my foods that kill me- like instead of cheeseburgers & fries I make turkey burgers with avocado and sweet potato fries..and I search the crap out of pinterest for clean eating swaps! My fiance has gotten really into it too, it's kind of like our thing now, coming up with ways to swap up our favorite soul foods so he helps with cooking too, but it also makes me accountable to him. I feel horrible if I eat a whole bag of oreos because we spent so much time making healthy food you know?

    Also the hardest one for me was to stop buying the things that were killing me. I wanted those oreos sooo bad and could convince myself I would just eat one each day (riiiight)! so I found some clean eating dessert recipes and ate those when I needed an oreo...and these clean eating desserts are usually loaded with protein and fiber so I physically cannot binge eat them haha!

    Good luck you got this!!

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    1. Lindsay, I actually found your blog on Pinterest while I was searching for clean meal ideas! I love the idea of food prepping. I need to start doing that. It will definitely help the binge eating. If I already have it made, why waste money to get something else right? We did really good for a while and I was subbing our comfort foods for healthier versions, I just lost it this last week. Stress is a trigger for me and all my self control just disappeared. I have a big shopping trip planned for this weekend, so I am going to stock up on good things and next week will be better, I hope. Do they put crack in Oreos? I mean they have to right? Thanks for the advice!

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    2. You know with this stress I think you just need a tropical vacation (:

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    3. Sign me up!! I can already see myself lounging on the beach.

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  5. Oh no I know exactly what you are going through. I stress eat - one minute I am only eating one Hershey's kiss and then I look down and the whole bag is gone. What helps me with it is when I bring healthy, and a couple of extra, snacks to work. PLUS I chew a lot of gum - I can't make it without gum.

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    1. I always try to keep gum on hand! I really like the Dessert Delights by Extra and Trident's Perfectly Peppermint. I try to only keep good snacks on hand that way I can't eat junk, even if I wanted to. Stress eating is the worst!

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