Friday, January 31, 2014

First performance since I was 19.

{listen to this awesome song that we will be covering....please}

I have 15 things on my to-do list that must get done in the next two days, so naturally I am typing a blog post instead. Matt and I are on the Family Life Committee at our church and we have an event tomorrow called Acts and Snacks. Since we are on the committee we felt a responsibility to contribute, so not only are we bringing snacks, we are preparing a musical act as well. This will be our first time playing anything together. I am really nervous because I haven't performed for anyone other than my friends and old coworkers since college. I am also really nervous because I love Merriment and do not want to ruin a tune that I really love. Hopefully we won't make mockeries of ourselves or the really cool band fronted by my other lady crush Christie DuPree(insert fan girl screaming here). I guess we will find out tomorrow night.
                     All My Love,

Thursday, January 30, 2014

When I find myself in times of trouble.

Thank you Jesus for The Beatles. I know you had a hand in their tune-age, because every time I hear Let It Be, I can feel a little bit of your Grace. As I stood in my kitchen blaring music to drown the hollers of two toddlers clamoring for lunch that they absolutely needed 5 minutes ago, attempting to unload my dishwasher so I could straighten the terrible mess that stood in my sink, dancing around to avoid stepping on the little fingers and toes that are undoubtedly under my feet at all times. I stood in my kitchen soaked in anxiety over things that are beyond my control. I stood in my kitchen ready to shatter into thousands of tiny pieces. And then, I heard the familiar piano. I just stopped in my tracks, with the Littles looking slightly confused, and I listened. And there was peace in my heart. I can only control myself. And that is okay. Let It Be.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Thank you scoobies.

Last night I surprised Matt with a babysitter and we went out to dinner. We had been hearing great things about the burgers at Ecco Lounge, so that's where we headed. Matt ordered a Stag since they offer it on tap at Ecco. The waitress looked at him a little closer and asked, "you Toby's boy?" Turns out, Matt went to high school with her son and she lives down the road from Matt's dad and grandparents. Nothing beats small town living. You're never too far from home. Also, the burgers were fantastic. I was glad I ran an extra mile yesterday.
Today was warmer, so we emerged from our house cocoon and ventured to my grandparents house for the day. We arrived just as my grandpa was returning home from his morning coffee excursion. The Littles loved every minute of their play time today. After we left my grandparents, we stopped by Aldi's to pick up some produce. I love Aldi's. Their bags of mini sweet peppers were on sale for 79 cents. I bought two and thought about sending Matt out for a couple more.
Since the Littles napped at my grandparents house today, I had to run this evening after dinner. It's getting easier to run on the treadmill. I logged 2 miles and called it quits, mostly because my Buffy episode was over. Tomorrow my goal is 5 miles. Originally I thought the weather was supposed to shape up for tomorrow, but talk around town is that it might snow. That means running 5 miles on the treadmill. At least I have Buffy the Vampire Slayer to keep me company.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

hashtag: Transformation Tuesday

Seriously weather? I have had about enough of your shenanigans. It's cold again today. Like 7 degrees cold. Thanks to my friend "polar vortex" the thought of leaving my house for any reason is unbearable, so we are going on day two of being inside all day. The Littles did fine yesterday, but today is putting more of a damper on their toddlerhood. Luckily they have not grown tired of dancing and twirling in the living room, which has kept them occupied all morning. Normally Pickle requests Veggie Tales for our dance sessions, but the past two weeks all he has wanted to hear is our Perma, Two of a Crime album on vinyl{seriously proud mama over here}. I happily oblige each and every time. I have a serious lady crush on Sherri Bemis. I have also had to explain at least 1,000 times now to Pickle that it is way too cold to go to the library today and he has to wait until Thursday when the forecast is a lovely 46 degrees. I love more than almost anything that he LOVES the library. I mean really though, who wouldn't? Our library has books and trains with tracks for him to play.

Since today is Tuesday, I thought I might share a little bit of my story for "Transformation Tuesday"
This is me at around 220 pounds in December 2012
This is me at 140 pounds in December 2013
(look at how BIG my Buggy is now!)

I have now roughly lost 85 pounds. This is a huge, giant, amazing accomplishment! I don't think I have ever been more proud of myself in my entire life. It was the first picture that actually made me realize how miserable I was. I wasn't just miserable because of my weight either, but the person I had allowed myself to become. I was withdrawn, anxious, shy and quite honestly a doormat that other people stepped on repeatedly. I looked at this photo and thought "this is not me." And it wasn't me at all. It was a shell. I looked at that picture and knew that something had to change, I had to change. I was not happy and I couldn't be the wife and mother that I wanted to be if I wasn't even happy with myself. I was tired of letting people treat me poorly too. I didn't respect myself, so why on earth would anyone else give me respect. That was the moment I can look back on and say "this is when it all changed". I took a stand. I changed my life. It is so empowering to look at the second photo and know how damn hard I worked. I love everything I see in the photo. I see myself again. I see my strength and perseverance. This has not been an easy road. I have wanted to give up so many times. I still have problems with binge eating(more on that another time) and trigger foods. This hasn't been a means to an end sort of journey. There is no end. This is a lifestyle change. I will work at being healthy every single day. For my husband and Littles, but mostly for myself. There is so much more that I am working toward, but it feels good to look back a little and know that I CAN DO ANYTHING with Jesus, my husband by my side, and coffee.

All My Love, 

Monday, January 27, 2014

Country roads take me home, to the place I belong.

Ah, Monday, you heartless thief. Stealing the joy of our weekend with your responsibilities and routine. Today has been no exception. Today is bitterly cold, but the sun is shining, so there is a small clemency. Mondays are always hard for me, but honestly Sundays are harder. You see, Sunday is my favorite day of the week. This baffles me, because it also fills me with dread for the Monday that is swiftly approaching. But Sundays hold my heart. A huge, huge part of why we moved back to Jefferson City was to see our families more and Sundays are a day FILLED with family time. We attend church with my parents, grandparents, my brother and his lovely girlfriend. We go out to breakfast together. The Littles take an early nap and this gives Matt and I time to finish up chores from the ever growing Saturday chore list, go for extra long runs, and spend a little time together before they awake. Sunday evenings we typically go to my parents house for dinner. Yesterday we went by Matt's moms house before we headed to my parents. This is exactly how I want my kids to grow up. This is how I grew up and I treasure my relationship with my grandparents. Sometimes I feel like I am weirdly close to them. I am so blessed. I don't want anyone to get the idea that we are some kind of Stepford family. That is not the case at all. We fight and we absolutely get annoyed with each other. The thing is, we talk about our issues. We don't ignore our feelings. We don't just pretend things are fine. We don't belittle each other. We stand and we deal and we move on. We all have different thoughts, feelings and opinions, but we are united. We are loyal. We are a family. Sundays remind me just how thankful I am for that fact. Sundays are bittersweet because Monday lurks in the darkness ahead, but my goodness Sundays are my Joy. We are home and it feels good.
                           All My Love,

Saturday, January 25, 2014

My trouble with mint green.

Today's post is pretty riviting friends. I cannot decide what color to paint our kitchen. You're probably thinking "this lady is nuts! It's not that hard to pick a paint color for a kitchen!" And my friends, that is exactly what I'm thinking too. I have a perfect color in mind. A color I can clearly see in my head, but finding this perfect color in real life is proving to be somewhat of a challenge. I'm looking for the perfect mint green. Not too seafoamy green, not too aqua-esque. I am in search of magical mint green. I live in my kitchen most days. It is my favorite place to be, after all it's where the coffee is located. I also have two toddlers who eat 8 small meals a day and a husband who comes home for lunch every day. I can see myself sipping coffee(frantically unloading the dishwasher to find the correct sippy cup for a screaming toddler) in this exquisitely mint kitchen, but alas, I have been fruitless in my quests thus far. I still hold on tightly to hope that one day soon I will have a freshly painted kitchen.
                                                                           All My Love,

Friday, January 24, 2014

I don't need to hurry as long as I'm with you

So in the spirit of renewing this blog and sticking with my (cliché) New Year's Resolution of seeing things through, here I am! I will bore you to death with tales of my husband, kiddos, friends and general life. I will probably throw some recipes at you. I may even include a couple of my workout routines that I like. I might tell you about my intense love for all things Harry Potter, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Supernatural and The Walking Dead(like I have a serious love affair with all of them). I might tell you about the book I am currently reading. I might tell you about my years of terrible anxiety. I might just throw inspiration and motivation at you, but I do know that I will stick around because that's what this year is about to me. Not just talking about doing what I love, but actually doing what I love on a daily basis. I believe that The Grass Roots said it best, "Sha la la la live for today".
                                                                                                         All My Love,

Thursday, January 23, 2014

The times they are a changin'

 Here we are friends, more than a year after my first post and oh boy have things changed. I am still at home with my two Littles, however home is not where it used to be. We moved back to our home town this past July and we have not looked back. I miss my friends in Springfield dearly, but we couldn't pass up the opportunity to have our Littles closer to their Grandparents and honestly we needed be closer to our Parents. Raising children is hard. It takes a village, and my village was hours away.
 Since moving home we have celebrated a whole bunch of milestones! Pickle is swiftly approaching three and this makes me want to cry and rejoice all at once. He is so big(wearing 4T clothes perfectly) that often I forget he's only two. He is headstrong and willful, but he is also sweet and polite(when he chooses- as with most things he does). We are desperately working on potty training(the BANE OF MY EXISTENCE!). Since he is such a willful child, we are waiting for the potty training to be on his terms because us pushing is not helpful to him or Matt and I. One day he will decide he's ready, I just have to wait for that day. Buggy is approaching 18 months old and I am seeing her change and grow every day. This last week her vocabulary exploded. She is also willful and she is a leader in every way. She is so brave. She will charge headfirst into any situation. This happened quite literally two weeks ago and she fell and pushed her front tooth backwards and to the side. She had to have it pulled last week which broke my heart. She will be the coolest girl in school with no front tooth until her grown up tooth replaces her baby tooth.
 Matt and I purchased a house in Jefferson City in August. We have yet to sell our Springfield house though. We love our new house. It's big and old and historic. It has all the original hardwood flooring and glass doorknobs on every door. My task now is filling it up since we almost tripled the amount of living space we had. We thrift store on the regular and I have a lovely "honey do" list for Matt filled with tasks of building shutters, installing a barn door off of the kitchen in the sun room and refinishing a secretary desk that belonged to my parents when they first got married.
 Christmas has come and gone. Winter has set in and there is a polar vortex headed our way in the next week or two. This morning the wind chill was -20 degrees. No thank you.
 If you stuck with this post, you are a brave soul. I promise to write more.
                                                                                                             All My Love,